Cant Say Goodbye
by jessib91
Summary: 6 years ago G.Callen said goodbye to her, now he's saying hello,once a ghost, she's quit her old life, but with her old life comes some secrets, she needs to face them, only when concealing them she's burned her bridges and only Callen is willing to help.
1. Hello Again

"**Right everyone, gather around, I guess it's time to tell you" called Hetty**

"**Tell us what Hetty?" asked Sam**

"**Agent Vaile is going to be on extended leave as he recovers from his injuries therefore I have someone to stand in for him." Hetty replied**

"**Do we know him?" asked Callen.**

"**I think you mean her" said a beautiful blonde with a British accent who was walking down the stairs, everyone turned to look at where the voice came from except for Callen who was kicking himself, "And yes Gordon, you do know me!" At this point he whipped his head around. **

**He hesitated before saying "Tarah?"**

"**Yes Gordon, long time no see."**

"**What are you doing here?" he asked enthusiastically with a grin on his face.**

"**Working. I hope!"**

"**No, I mean why are you in America?"**

"**Special Navy Service sent me; they want a field agent liaising with other agencies."**

"**Guys, this is Tarah Daniels SNS."**

"**Actually G, its Lenadis these days." **

"**You're married?" He asked looking slightly gutted.**

"**I was a ghost G."**

"**So you're not now."**

"**Circumstances change."**

"**Callen, there is no time for catchups!" barked Hetty**

"**Sorry Hetty. I'll introduce her to the team will I?"**

"**Yes Callen that would be the best idea you've had all week! I'll leave you to it." Jibed Hetty**

"**Tarah, this is Agent Sam Hanna, he is my partner in the field, this is Kensi Blye, she is a Junior field agent and she's Dom's partner in crime, Eric Beal is our Technical operator and Nate Getz is our resident shrink" he says as he points to each one, she shakes each of their hands "Tarah, Kensi will show you where to go." Callen said as he walked away from her. Kensi turned and Tarah followed.**

"**So, Tarah, do you like it her in LA?" Asked Kensi smiling.**

"**Its Agent Lenadis." Kensi looked a little pushed out of joint "Agent Blye contrary to yourself I am not here to make friends, as long as I have your back and you have mine that is all that matters."**

**Kensi gave a forced smile "Agent Blye I like my personal life to remain personal, therefore at work I am Agent Lenadis, at home I am Tarah, but I don't have friends at work because it gets to complicated, I learnt that the hard way with Agent Callen." Kensi gave her a sympathetic smile. "Especially when you have to say goodbye." Tarah added as she looked over at Callen who was gazing at her smiling and she meant it, now that she had said hello to him again she didn't know if she could ever say goodbye.**


	2. Hello and Goodbye

**Disclaimer: i dont own G or NCIS:LA...Must keep trying! found something i do own though AGENT LENADIS/DANIELS/RANDOM VARIOUS NAMES THAT CONFUSE ME! **

**Hopefully people will grow to like her! she's not the bitch she makes herself out to be!**

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I had a tiring first day as Liaison officer for the Office of Special Projects. I jumped into my black SUV and I drove to my new home. It certainly felt different living in America. Getting used to driving on the wrong side of the road to home was the hardest. I was sitting driving quietly with my thoughts. I began to think back to the day I first met G. Callen.

_**6 Years ago**_

_**As she approached the bar she saw the man she need to introduce herself to, he had sandy blonde hair, blue eyes as deep as the sea, and he had his head hung low over his quarter pint of beer. He was handsome and she found herself staring at the strong man she had seen today diminished into a broken man. She found herself feeling sorry for him. She finally made it to the bar and stood beside him. **_

"_**Hi, I'm Daniels, Agent Daniels."**_

_**The rather drunk man shook her hand as he introduced himself.**_

"_**Call me Gordon, at least I'll feel like someone." He was drunker than she first thought. She saw the man on the opposite side of the bar pulling G Callen another pint. He brought it over.**_

"_**Excuse me sir but that won't be necessary, I think my friend here has had more than enough."**_

"_**I haven't had more than enough because I haven't had enough yet. I can still feel the pain."**_

_**He put his head in his hands. I turned me head to the side.**_

"_**I'd love to say it gets better, but you know as well as I do that I'd be lying to you."**_

"_**Then lie Daniels."**_

"_**I can't do that G. Callen. I really can't."**_

"_**Yeah you can, lie to me Daniels."**_

"_**G. Callen, I don't lie to people. I can't tell you that it gets better but I can tell you that you can get through it. We've all had to, you just simply take on a different alias when you get home. A normal alias, at home I am Tarah Daniels, at work I'm Agent Daniels. I have that line drawn. At home I am just Tarah. A normal 25 year old girl. At work I am someone else. Just another alias. Its what keeps me sane. Our way of life isn't normal, but it's the only bit of normality I have in my life."**_

"_**Who can I be Daniels?"**_

"_**Agent G Callen at work and since you proved to me before that you must like the name, why not Gordon Callen at home?"**_

"_**Does it work Daniels?"**_

"_**Yes, it has so far."**_

"_**Ok, say hello to Gordon, the perfectly normal 30 year old man."**_

**I smiled at the memory**_** w**_**hen the screech of my phone made me jump with a fright. I picked it up.**

"**Tarah Ledanis."**

"**Mummy, Nanny and I made cakes."**

"**Awh, sweetie, I hope you left Mummy some."**

"**Nanny and I ate them all up."**

"**Bethany Henrietta Ledanis, you had better of left your mummy some cakes otherwise she will tickly torture you when she gets home. Sweetie, Mummy's driving at the moment. I wont be long getting home. Put your nanny on for me." I heard her shouting Nanny and then someone spoke down the phone.**

"**Tarah, its me."**

"**Mum, he was there, he can't find out about her, I've kept it from him for so long. He can't find out now."**

"**Maybe him finding out won't be a bad thing Tarah."**

"**Mum, I'm protecting Beth, I'm protecting him."**

"**Honey, maybe he doesn't want to be protected and maybe Beth wants to meet her daddy."**

"**I don't want her in the line of fire anymore than she already is Mum, taking this job was a big mistake."**

"**Darling you know Hetty wanted you for the job."**

"**Screw aunt Hetty mum, she knew all along, she knew he was here, I can't believe she let me take the job."**

"**Honey we decided that this was the best way."**

"**You mean, you and Aunt Hetty have been plotting about how my life should be, it wasn't your decision to make mum."**

"**I know darling, but it felt right at the time, Hetty knows the danger you're in, she knows you're in hiding, he can protect you honey."**

"**I can protect myself!"**

"**Yeah you might be able to protect yourself, but who's going to protect Beth?"**

"**I can protect her to." **

"**Honey, you can't do it all yourself. I'm not going to be here forever, who's gonna care for Beth if anything happens to you. She needs her father."**

"**Why do you always have to be right?"**

"**I'm not always right Tarah, I'm only right sometimes. It's your decision now Tarah. You have to be right this time. You can't afford to be wrong."**

"**I know mum, I know. Seeing him today was like being hit by a tonne of bricks. I thought I'd gotten over him over time, but I found out today I've never stopped loving him. I don't think I ever will mum."**

"**You know what to do honey. Let him know."**

"**He's going to hate me."**

"**He's not honey. He will most likely understand why you did it. It was for Beth's safety after all. You both led the same type of life, he knows how it is."**

"**Mum, I kept his flesh and blood from him for 5 and a half years, he won't be very happy."**

"**He'll be even less happy if you keep it from him any longer."**

"**I know mum, I'm going to have to tell him aren't I?"**

"**Yes, honey you are."**

"**I'll do it soon."**

"**Okay, see you soon honey."**

"**Yeah, I'll see you soon mum."**

**We hung up. I threw my phone onto the passenger seat. I had just stopped at some traffic lights, so I put my head into my hands. I remembered back to the day I said goodbye to G. Callen, 3 weeks before I discovered I was having a baby. **

"_**G, we can't do this, mixing personal life with work ,it just doesn't work. If there's lapses in judgement. You could be killed G. I can't have that on my conscience."**_

"_**I know Tarah, but I love you and I can't bear living without you."**_

"_**G, this is wrong, we both know you can't have family in this game."**_

"_**We could Tar, we could walk away from this life, we could have it all."**_

"_**No G, you know as well as I do, you don't just walk away from it, we're at the top of our game, we're assets, they won't want to let us go easily."**_

"_**Then we'll fight Tar, fight for each other."**_

"_**Let's face it G. It's never going to happen."**_

"_**It can, but only if we want it to, I know I do."**_

"_**I don't G, I don't want us to be together, I don't want you to get hurt or worse die. If I'm honest a world with you in it, even if you aren't with me is better than a world completely without you."**_

"_**Tar, don't do this."**_

"_**I'll never forget you G, thats one thing, you've given me so many memories, it's going to be impossible to let go. But you know as well as I do that this is the only way. Goodbye Gordon!"**_

"_**Goodbye Daniels."**_

_**And as much as it hurt, I walked away. I said goodbye to the only person I had known love with. The only person I ever would. **_


End file.
